Thursday, 31 March 2016

To all my suicidal mates

Well I know I am one of the best attention seekers you can ever find in this world. I have finally decided to agree with everyone who have been judging me (it was not easy at all trust me). The reason why I agree that I am an attention seeker is because I have never got attention from my birth parents. My father denied me and my mother chose a man over me and decided to desert me due to her financial state. I do not blame her, but how many mothers would rather suffer with their children? Yeah I know countless, I know I cannot change the past but I can let it lead me to a better future.

I will swallow my pride; be honest with everyone and myself. Well I always wanted to commit suicide since my stepfather started sexually harassing me but I never attempted it. I recall a time, before my mother deserted me, when we used to play Draft together, known as Checkers. We were very close…

I once told my mother that I was tired of living and that wanted to die.

 She went to the wardrobe and she took out a photo album. I became so frightened. I thought she was taking out a Pistol, She was just ready to pull a trigger on me, I know that is crazy right. She then showed me a photo of a little cute baby.
She said to me, this is your late brother if you want to die whom are you going to leave me with?
I was so speechless; I did not even have the energy to cry. That day I realized that my mother loved me after all. But all that faded away when she left me. Anyway, I am on a road to forgiveness.

I started attempting suicide when I was staying at a home safety. Everybody thought it was seeking attention. Indeed, I was but no one understood my pain. My own father denied me, my stepfather sexually harassed me and my mother chose a man over me .Seriously I never wanted to die I just wanted  to be accepted ,understood and loved.

There was a day where I really wanted to die. That was the last time I tried committing suicide but God saved me, Well He always does.

My message is, not all suicidal people want to die they just simple need support, understanding and love. I realized one thing. If you can truly understand, accept and love yourself you will be fine. But a little support from people will do ….

I am not going to throw a pity party for suicidal people, although I used to be one of them. I want you to know something. In this planet EARTH, you came alone, and we all have different direction of how our life is going to end up of which God has set for us. I do not know if you going to Hell or Heaven that is not for me to decide but God, if you are a Christian if not I do not know.

We all choose the life we want to live, talking to psychologist or whatever medical attention you will be receiving at the end of the day it is your choice my dear.

You can get all the support but the decision is yours and if you reading this and you were planning to commit suicide and you still considering it. Please do not overdose on pills (whatever pills it is) you’re not going to die. You are going to end up in hospital. At least try hanging yourself or get a legal gun and shoot yourself. You are going to die at an instant.

We are going to mourn and bury you. Eventually we are going to forget about you. Life goes on with or without you .So, it is your choice to make the best out of it or run away from your problems. We will meet wherever your spirit is going, if we are going to be at the same place.

I will not tell you what you want to hear. If you think suicide is the answer…go ahead. In the coming years people will be partying and embracing the gift of life. No matter how big their problems are they know that nothing lasts forever. I am 100% sure that wherever you are going, you will wish that you could come back.

I almost forgot to tell you. There are non-profit organizations that assist suicidal people. They have a chronic need for funding. If the government does not help them with the funding, eventually you are going to have to pay in order to be assisted in saving your own life. Why not use that money to aid homeless people rather than wasting it on something that you can easily do yourself.

Still consider committing suicide?
Wish you luck my dearest suicide mate!

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